Have you been with the same man for quite a while now?
If so, I have a few important questions for you today. Please let me know if any of this rings true for you in your relationship:
- Does it feel like the surprises and sensual thrills of your day-to-day life together have become fewer and more far between?
- Have you begun to lose touch with each other’s bodies, finding moments of intimacy becoming rare, scarce, or even non-existent?
- Has conversation become scarcer between you, with the things that you do talk about seeming blah and boring instead of juicy and exciting?
- Does it seem like you and your man know exactly what to expect from each other every day, so you’ve begun to neglect and ignore one another or take each other for granted?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, here’s the first thing I want you to know today:
I’ve been there.
Years ago, my husband and I (the very same adoring, perfect husband who now makes me feel cherished every day) became stuck in this downward relationship spiral.
As time went by, the boredom, neglect and “taking each other for granted” began to turn into distance and disconnection within our relationship. The man I once craved (and who chased, worshipped and desired me) started to seem like he was a million miles away in the same room.
So I know better than anyone… this kind of distance and neglect then begin to create awful feelings inside YOU.
Feelings like fear, resentment and anger make it seem like you’re living with a total stranger instead of an understanding, lifelong lover.
They’re feelings that left unaddressed can damage a once-cherished, passionate relationship beyond all repair.
Needless to say, I felt trapped and hopeless.
I felt depressed and demoralized.
Worst of all, I felt like I was doomed to a bleak, lonely future that I had never imagined for myself.
That’s why, if you’re feeling any of this right now, I think it’s fairly urgent that you get some immediate help, care and relief…
I Want To Show You How To Start Turning Everything Around INSTANTLY
If you’re committed to reclaiming your man’s attention and bringing him closer again before things go too far down the path of disconnection, neglect, and distance, I want you to know that taking just a few simple steps can start to CHANGE EVERYTHING.
Here’s what you can say and do to start turning everything around immediately… including the EXACT words that will reclaim his attention, bring him close again, and begin rejuvenating your relationship like you never thought possible…
Reconnect With Your Own Needs FIRST
I always say the only way you can reconnect to your man’s heart is through YOUR own heart. In other words, once you get in touch with what’s in your heart and learn how to share it with him in the right way, you’ll bring him closer again automatically and effortlessly.
So take some time – even if you have to schedule it – to get back in touch with what you want and need.
Simply close your eyes and imagine what a perfect day in your rejuvenated relationship will look like, sound like, and feel like.
What common, everyday things could your man do for you that you would like? What could he do MORE of? What might he do for your body that would steal your breath and leave you begging for more? What can you do for him to make him feel the same?
Also, make plans to go out on your own and enjoy some separateness. Take an art class. Volunteer to help the disadvantaged. Become a roller derby queen (a friend of mine actually did this!)
Once you reconnect with your own wants, emotions and desires in these ways, you’ll instantly become more conscious of destructive patterns in your relationship caused by these unfulfilled feelings inside you…
Feelings of being deprived or neglected that you then express in damaging ways to your man, often without even realizing it!
Give Him Praise (In The RIGHT Way)
Now that you’ve begun reconnecting with your own needs, start giving your man some of what he needs to begin moving closer to you again.
The simplest way to do it is, the next time you’re alone together, give him some praise in the right way to make him feel like a man.
Your man needs to feel from you that he’s appreciated for who he is and what he does… because, to a man, what he does IS who he is.
That’s why praise is the most immediate way to remind him that you’re still interested in him in both mind and body. It can be as simple as telling him “You know, you really look good today.” Or, “The way you solved that problem was great, you’re still smartest man I’ve ever known.”
It lets him know that you still respect and love him for who he is and what he does, so take some time to say a few powerful, simple words to him today.
Address What’s Changed
If you’ve been together awhile, there’s no doubt that things are different than they were when everything was fresh and new between you. And one of the worst things you can do is act like everything’s the same… especially if things aren’t so good or slowly getting worse.
Take some time to explore what’s changed between you. What’s different about him now than when you met him?
If he’s showing signs of unhappiness, or even acting like he’s outright depressed, then it’s time for you to say to him, “I can tell you’re unhappy. Please tell me, is there anything I should know? I feel bad that you seem sad, I miss the way things used to be between us.”
If he’s become a man who wants to “cocoon” instead of going out and having fun like the old days, make sure that you don’t try to drag him out the door anymore. Instead, gently invite him on a walk or some other small outward adventure, and let him know that the reason you want to do it is because you want to be with him.
Just remember – it’s not your job to SOLVE his problems… it’s his job. You can be an assistant, a supporter and a cheerleader to help motivate him to fix himself, but he ultimately has to be the one to do it.
Say things like “I would love to help give you direction and will do anything I can to help you, but I don’t want to be pushy. If you’d like them, I have ideas about activities, doctors, etc.”
This way, you let him you know that you feel what’s going on and you’re there for him, but, that you don’t want to push him away by being a controller.
This is so critically important, and I’ve put together several more powerful, specific examples of how to inspire your man to begin righting his own ship right here:
The whole key is, YOU want your man to feel all of the support and space that you’re giving him. When he does, he will naturally draw closer to you to fill up that space!
Say Those Three Little Words
After you’ve been with a man for awhile, the simplest words and gestures begin to mean the most. And right at the top of the list is saying and hearing him say the words, “I Love You.”
Think about it… how often do you share these most critical, relationship-nurturing words anymore? If not today, did you share them last week? Last month?
If it’s been that long, getting the love vibes going again can be the most uncomfortable, challenging part. A great way to bring the bonding talk back is to tell him something like, “I feel there’s something missing between us… know what would feel incredible to me? I would love to hear the words ‘I love you’ from you. Can I have that? Is that something you feel okay with?”
Here’s another way…
Tell him, “You know, I saw this movie, and it felt incredible watching the hero say I love you to his heroine. It made me realize all over again how important that is to me. Is that something I can ask you for?”
The bottom line is… it’s time to let your man know that you’re missing hearing and saying “I love you.” When you have it back again, you’ll be amazed at how quickly these words give new life and power to genuine feelings, and how love comes roaring back to life.
Get Sex Back Into Your Life
It’s probably the first thing to suffer in a relationship in need of rejuvenation… sex. And, just like the other areas we’ve talked about, knowing exactly what to say and do to get things back on track is the key to turning things around.
If you haven’t been hot and heavy in too long, it’s time to start asking questions without being pushy.
Ask him, “We haven’t been intimate for a while and I miss it. Is anything up? Is something wrong?”
At this point, it’s common for a man to say that it’s because you don’t “initiate” sex. So, make sure not to get defensive or feel accused, even if it’s completely not true. Instead, tell him that you just don’t feel like you have much of a chance of succeeding when you do, so how can you work together to get things back on track?
He might not have answer. If not, take the initiative (and the first step toward sexual rejuvenation) by offering a schedule. Tell him, “How about we set aside Wednesday night at 9pm?”
Important… don’t be afraid to be “unromantic” by scheduling!
And also, don’t be afraid to introduce novelty, sensuality and fantasy into the schedule.
To get things going again, tell him, “You know that I fantasize about getting physical with you?” or “Do you have any idea how much I get turned on by the feel of your chest?”
When you have accidental contact with him, revel in it and call it out. Touch him for some other reason than to get him going. Smell him and look at him. Be amazed by his body.
Also, don’t give up on learning new skills that will please him, and then gift him with them.
Tantric sex coach anyone?
Not only will new adventures in the bedroom make you feel excited all over again and more skillful as a lover, but they will also make you more aware of yourself and your own pleasure during intimacy.
Also, I highly recommend that you read “Extended Massive Orgasm.” It’s a great book… very clinical and technical, but it also delivers revelations when it comes to rejuvenating your sex life.
But okay, what does everything we’ve been talking about today have in common?
It’s simply this…
Rejuvenating Your Relationship Comes Down To Saying And Doing A Few Simple Things
After you’ve been with a man for a while (or even if you’ve just recently met) the most frustrating, disheartening, painful thing that can happen is for him to begin pulling away, blowing hot and cold and leaving you wondering whether it’s you or if it’s him.
Truth is, it’s usually a little bit of both. Most often, when a relationship fades, it’s both your responsibilities.
That’s why, if you’re suffering from feelings and the damaging emotional effects of having your man pull away from you or feel distant, the ONE AND ONLY solution is making the decision to TAKE ACTION to change things.
But here’s the thing:
You Must Do It All In The Right Way… Or You Risk Making Things Worse
To make sure you have all the specific words and actions you need to make things right again (even better than they ever were at the beginning!)
SOURCE; WOMENLIFEISSUES
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